Each new year millions of people make resolutions. A new body. A new attitude. A new more scheduled you. Whatever it may be for you, I am resolved not to make new years’ resolutions because I always end up disappointed. I decided a few years back that I’m a long-term dreamer, but a better short-term goal keeper. So, I like to have little “self-inspections” every so often to see what changes I need to make. On my “needs help” list for quite some time I have wanted to revamp the blog. However, I have pondered and prayed over more than just the quality of the blog. My heart has been stirring when it comes to showing more than photography, but more of me. If you have ever read my information on my website, you will know that my relationship with God is life to me. It’s by His grace that I am who am I, becoming who I am becoming. I’m quite a piece of work, and daily He’s reminding me of the importance of trusting in Him, and oh the peace that follows. Behind the Lord, my family is my love. They make me laugh and learn all too easily. I’m married in the ministry, and so yes, that’s an important part of my life as well. Teaching and being with students takes up a lot of time, but Drew and I love it very much. Besides these people and a group of Godly girlfriends who I adore, I am in love with randomness, spontaneity. I live a very scheduled life, but my heart’s desire is to pick up a craft and do it, see a beautiful place and explore it, and attempt many things just to say that I’ve done it. I have an endless list of “future projects” and things to do that prove that.
I say all this to say I’m in love with so much more than photography. That is why, as of last night, I have decided to make this blog both photography and a little bit more about who I am and what I’m learning. I may not ever meet you, but the least I can do is be a little more authentic in representing all of me.
So here’s the beginning of just that. To begin with I would to share a bit of what God taught me yesterday through my 4 year old…
“Today I was rushing around. We are ALL sick. Called CareNow. Got an appointment. Called in meds for Drew. Got a call from Drew and found out one of our student’s mom had passed away. My heart sank. For once my day was quiet, at least in my mind. A thousand thoughts overwhelmed that split second of silence. We had been sincerely praying in confidence for her for several days. I prayed a quick prayer over the family as I arrived at Carenow. We were at the clinic over 2 hours with all kinds of paperwork for 3 sickly people. Then we were off to CVS where I got another call from Drew saying we needed to bring this family dinner. So, once again I went rushing around. I bought groceries but then decided to go to Central Market to pick up flowers. Every girl going through something like that needs the happiness of flowers! I got home, put Reece down for a nap, and Connor began helping me unpack the bags. The cooking began. Pumpkin bread for the morning–they need a tasty breakfast–and brownies from scratch for dessert. Both in the oven. Check check. Saute the chicken, only step one of a delicious creamy alfredo tomato pasta with fresh basil and garlic. Sliced French bread, fresh salad. I wanted to give them gourmet. If God would choose to comfort through food, He would speak through this!
Somewhere between the stirring and baking, checking the oven and slicing, I mentioned to Connor to draw a little picture to make a “big girl” (as he calls the female students in the youth ministry) happy. His response was, “Is she sad?” I said, “yes,” emotionally not wanting to even attempt to talk about the death. Then the next thing he said shook me.
“What?” I heard myself say.
“Then pray, Mommy.”
Oh the truth that God pierced my heart with. It was like Christ had taken the form of a 4 year old and said, “YOU! ‘Martha!’ Sit at my feet!” Yes, I had called upon the name of the Lord, but today with quickness and a lack of specifics. I had gotten so caught up in the “doing,” that I forgot to pray without ceasing. We can do good things with good intentions, but how often are we conversing with the Lord through the whole process, making sure those good things are HIS good things?
I stopped and allowed Connor to pray a sweet and simple heart-felt prayer that the Lord could hear over the angels’ songs of praise. I prayed for repentance then prayed for the family.
If someone is sad, “Then pray.” If someone is hurt, “Then pray.” If you are worried, “Then pray.” If your heart is joyful, “Then pray.” So often we have heard that our first response should be to pray, but my prayer today is that we would be so in tune with the Spirit that not only our first response, but our continual response would be to pray, praise, thank, offer up, nail down, glorify, and spill out on the altar of the Lord.”